1. |
stadiums
02:18
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|
you peed on the sidewalk
it streamed down bowery
that neon august night
you couldn’t remember
you told me you broke down
your way home without me
i’m back now to sleep on
my brother’s old futon
what will i do without you
the summer’s ahead but i’m already dead
ghost in the city i’m so fucking pretty
the skyscraper shadows all
point in my way
your tombstone teeth
in my cherry pit brain
i’ve walked away but
i won’t be the same
the stadiums
will have new names
i’ll swim to the sandbar
out in rockaway
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2. |
beach bitch babyyyy
02:07
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|
sitting in the backseat
making sweat with other thighs
how many times now
have i wanted to die
carpark food bazaar
international aisle
with a world so big
why would i move a mile
baby’s first breakup
it’s so hard to wake up
to confront the season
of suntans and flings
kim there’s people dying
but i can’t stop crying
when i think of you happy
with somebody else
the outdoor exercisers
look so fucking dumb
but the body’s programs
won’t pause for nothing
the midday park is
full of white children
the river flows with trash
might go for a swim
baby’s first failures
am i a good writer
am i a contrarian
just cuz i’m scared
kim there’s people dying
and i can’t stop crying
10% empathy
mostly self pity
i don’t wanna go to the beach
turn back around turn back around
we can get some froyo
but if we stop here we’ll get towed
drip down into my lap
just wanna waste away in the city
with its dyads and doppelgangers
of you and me
long hair chunky footwear
so many boys who like chairs
scrolling on my phone
taking the moment’s temperature
waiting for the day
you also get bored of her
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3. |
catsitting
02:52
|
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|
won’t you come over
to the apartment we shared
the apartment we shared
that wasn’t ours
let’s take a shower
in the apartment we shared
the apartment we shared
that wasn’t ours
nothing like having sex
by other people’s pets
on a casper mattress
we couldn’t afford
pictures on the wall
of a real couple
with a past and future
we’re twenty four
we put whole tangerines in each other’s mouths
stopped saying i love you in january
i laughed through the lump in my throat
we trespassed the castle at the cliff
there’s dog shit on the sidewalk
flies scatter at my footsteps
the key fits, the door opens
someone else is home
my things are stored
in three different states
my heart melts my fears
sublimate
won’t sign my name to
any one year lease
i seek you in
instability
is it too late to hold you
in the apartment we shared
the apartment we shared
that wasn’t ours
COME OVER COME OVER
COME OVER COME OVER
to the apartment we shared
that wasn’t ours
|
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4. |
npc
04:54
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|
why do you treat me like an npc
instead of someone you once loved
when i go through memories of us
i replace my face with a stranger’s
how could you break it off so casually
with a text and a thumbs up
or had i lost touch with reality
as the seasons passed
am i just hurt or have i been wronged
just trying not to blame myself
they’re not subtweets if they’re songs
what should i have done
taught my friends to write love poems
to people who love them
when i couldn’t ask questions
whose answers i feared
you knew how to speak up
except when your feelings changed
and i became
an inconvenience
let’s meet at the building
with windows like pixels
the empty cubicles
the privately owned public space
i should stay away from social media
forget that other people exist
when the sky above us both rains
i hope that you’re depressed
you slipped me out of your life
like a girl out of a dress
should i have fought harder
did i know i wanted to
have i earned this resentment
like a gold fucking star
in the end i miss you
deeper than any scar
i don’t want to let go
to be left with just anger
and the sense that next time
i’ll know better
you once got mad at me for not standing up for myself
i love to hate to hate to love to play the victim
who knew i’d be so powerful as a scorned woman
when i used to blush at your compliments
i still wanna be with you
but at least i know i’m not like you
i don’t wanna be like you
but i still wanna be with you
we don’t know each other
we don’t know each other anymore
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5. |
julie's plans
01:50
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|
what will julie do
with her life
she don't got a job
oh my god
i’m gonna make an ep
then the summer will be over
and we’ll talk about that summer
that i made an ep
don’t tell my mother
but i’m not going to law school
all i know’s
i’m not your girl no more
i walk along the water
oh i don’t have a future
all i know’s
i’m not your girl no more
you said i could do anything
you don't believe it anymore
but you were right
|
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6. |
self-titled
04:17
|
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|
you fell in love with three different girls
three consecutive summers
i’m good at filling strangers’ beds
can’t open up to others
we met up and you looked good
i looked better
not that what you think of me
matters anymore
i bet my brother 20 bucks
i wouldn't cry in front of you
i play games write stories
there’s nothing deeper to me
slime queen she’s lime green
she has a lot of feelings
snail trail heart hail
it hurts but has no meaning
what is lovable about me
but my cute face and wet wet pussy
skinning my knees up and down the street
look at me even in mockery
tuning out in conversations with friends
we all have problems
the neighbor’s speakers are too loud
playing tropical house
the internet’s my nighttime home
bots comment on my reddit post
was reading your public twitter
so i dropped a single
don’t wanna get panda express
these places are now meaningless
undo the logic of the city
so it rumbles on without me
i got braver next to you
cheering you on the crazy things you do
what a shame now i’ve got balls for two
but why even live if you’re not gonna ooze
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7. |
||||
|
i wanna be a popstar
everyone should love me
i wanna get your attention
even though i shouldn't
i got a perfect body
like regina spektor
i shit three times a day
got a fast metabolism
won't you listen to my songs
they're here whenever you're ready baby
here whenever you're ready
i love to stream my own songs
they're here whenever you're crazy baby
here whenever you're crazy
in five years i'll have long gotten over
will slime queen be cute or an eyesore
love is just a verb
we live moments not metaphors
if only right now i could let go
got one session left to convince my therapist i'm bipolar
this apocalyptic dread now that the days are getting shorter
but life's not so empty
i can ask the internet anything
let's go to the zoo dressed like animals
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8. |
vending machine
02:55
|
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|
found a chip
in my belly button tonight
take me in your arms
there’s eternity in my
preservatives
if you open up your jaws
crinkle my body
in its cellophane dress
line your gut with
its fine excess (yes)
you’ve undone
all my sine wave buttons
like the vending machine
at the laundromat
insomniac insomniac
wikipedia 4am
kerosene trampoline
genericide my heart
used to be your baby girl
your proper noun your favorite snack
now i’m caught in the vending machine
waiting to fall to
the hatch in the dark
i am a cyber girl
but i’d love you in meatspace
chew me up chew me out
masticate masturbate
i’m a hell of a treat
i’ll get you wired
that sugar high
till you get tired (of me)
left to play with
my own sine wave button
like the vending machine
at the laundromat
|
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9. |
platonic
03:44
|
|||
|
i’m doing alright
always been independent
i ask first date questions
that are a little too direct
i’m probably queer
another bisexual femme
sometimes i’m lonely
and i think about you in bed
the grieving comes in waves
but the mania’s here to stay
i’m cool brave
in touch with my feelings
and i wish you the best
except when i don’t
i wanna party with you
and your new girlfriend
maybe maybe in 2021
let's do molly (molly)
and bite each others’ necks
maybe baby it’ll be platonic
took my tits out in london
the wet basement @planetfunasmr
we had a good time together
the last words you told me
i’d focus more on the intimacy
but why not both
yeah i’m a real good time
taught you that new position
never had a stronger connection
you felt the same
you said you felt the same
i’m happy we shared that page
i like you at least as a person
could do a group hang
you’ll say it’s great you’re making music
in some patronizing way
i’ll be sweet but not effusive
when we meet again
these conversations in my head
they’re how i pass away my day
it’s too soon to be friends (for goodbye)
but maybe later
i’m kidding (kidding) i’m such a crazy bitch
will we even make it out this pandemic
don't know if we're ever gonna talk again
someday your shadow will fade from my head
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10. |
what next
01:46
|
|||
|
summer sky was as bright as a surgical mask
now it’s a little grayer
a surprise how you know all these animal facts
but why don’t you show me the paper
said goodbye what a lie you’ll be coming right back
talk about see you later
ugly cry can’t deny we’re on two different tracks
for me a profile in the fader
i said to him what you said to me
a giant human centipede
stay with me till someone leaves
my oh my you’re my destiny
i did to you what you do to her
the milk turns as the forests burn
my fear of change will too decay
i’ve just put my suitcase away
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